Showing posts from January, 2016


the chair
typing trying

to make


wanting to understand, yearning
yet still only ankle deep and sifting
sometimes skillfully the stream

separated by layers from the chair
separated from thoughts by the chair
occasional magic:
separated by thoughts from the chair

siphon with effort a layer of my world in words
submerging myself for inspection
setting with keys carefully to make it look alive
hoping for crystal value
hoping it will hold up under inspectacles

or sometimes trying to fit
readymade keys to holes
hoping they will just slip in
hoping they will open closed spaces

To pass across liminal fields
of things of thought
ever more hazy
find faint tracery
almost imperceptible
almost illusion
a gate, slip beyond
a truth may be just near

...I am now nowhere near the chair


Circles in the Dark - Part III

“It is a life you must choose for yourself, and a path you must walk alone. Yes, there are essential companions on this path, but there is never a leader, and there is nobody pulling you onward when you falter. No destination is set at the end of this journey other than the one you decide upon. “I have not spoken much of the Arbiters because that is the nature of the Arbiters. There is information to be found, but that is a fundamental step in walking the path by oneself. You need to actively search out answers, and then make up your own mind, unmediated by one who has already set her own long and twisting paths.” Here Shacruna paused, her eyelids meeting for a moment. “The truth is this: you cannot be told what you'll find, because the True Path winds always Within, and every single seeker’s journey is tailored to the needs of their own spirit, and to theirs alone. “Anything I tell you, anything you read or uncover from some external source will set up a new expectation of this ultim…

Circles in the Dark - Part II

At midnight the dunes appeared endless, long curves of shadow folded into a deeper dark, like the frozen swell of some inky ocean. Hectar plodded on, mechanically, one foot rising before the other. The difficulty, he brooded, is not the pain in my calves, or the weight on my back. Fatigue is bearable. No, the trial is this endless monotony. It crushes the soul. Above him a breathtaking span of stars twinkled their indifference. The effect was hypnotic, as if he were treading water in a black infinity, moving towards a bejewelled hemisphere which never drew any nearer. The only distractions were his thoughts, and these were no less muddled than under yesterday's moon. Isn't this what you wanted? Shacruna had asked. Are you not searching for meaning, for something greater than yourself? But he had found only a growing list of questions, and no answers. His life had suddenly been thrown into a chaos far deeper than ever before. Am I truly a Shaper? If so, then to what end should I turn …

Circles in the Dark - Part I

The moon crept across the sky, and far far below it Hectar and Shacruna were but two black scraps sliding up and down the rippling dunes. Unfolding in their minds was a whole host of imagined dramas, playing out against the backdrop of an unstable Meditar. The unrest in Yptah chilled Hectar to the bone. The signs were subtle and well-disguised, but there was no doubt the Principaean Senate had started pulling strings long ago tied in place; that carefully planned social ploys were now being executed. The thanes of Yptah were caught in an intricate web, cold and calculated, and each way they turned only bound them up further. There were already ten thousand imperial spears in the streets, with more arriving every day, and now with the Queen and much of her Council dead or disappeared it would be some time before Aethetaria acted cohesively. By that time it would be too late, and the Empire would be in control. Principaea’s Senate already had a list of handpicked replacements for each of t…

Radio Receiver

All sense perception is illusion, all is filtered: the eyes and the ears are but simulacra of actuality. Our mental maps can't do it any other way. They obscure that impossible ocean of energy surging its truth throughout the fundamental fabric of the Beyond.

So, basically, your five senses are lying to you.

They're lying because they are giving you a partial truth. White lies. Limited, mothering you, protecting you from daddy's overwhelming awesomeness. But they have to, because we can't look straight into the sun for very long; our eyes are only jelly.

Perhaps, then, when we delude our selves by choosing (whether knowingly or not) to see the world a certain way, that is why we then actually do start to see the world that way.

Nothing changes; it's the same (objectively) except for all the differences (subjectively).

Your belief system is a lot like a radio receiver, which you can tune to receive any of the available frequencies along its spectrum. You can fiddle the k…

“The first time I had sex.”

Catchy title, no?
Yes…but I'm going to tell you the naked truth.
(read between the lines)
Okay, tell it. The first time you had sex. "It was with a friend. There's actually not much more to it." Just tell the story. You've baited them – sex – you've pricked the hook in – sex! – and now you have to deliver. Or they'll be pissed off.
"Well, afterwards, it was kinda awkward between us for a few months because we were housemates. We didn't ever talk about it. It just kinda hung there between us, in grins. Or when one of us left the kitchen just a little bit sooner if we happened to be making tea at the same time.”
And then?
"Well, we stayed friends. Almost three years later when I came back from Korea and visited her and her girlfriend (yes, her girlfriend) we picked up our friendship just like that. It’s funny, but we've never spoken about it, that one night, and how we felt when it happened. But it doesn't matter, we don't need to.…